she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Still dying that you shit outside
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
