You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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