I am puke
only if we run a train.
done.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
