you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
