evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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