I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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