i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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