let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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