I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
