Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
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Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
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I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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