Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
