Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I need a burrito and a hug.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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