we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
