is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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