Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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