She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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