You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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