is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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