you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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