Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
