Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
