haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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