im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
