He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
