"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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