I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
