i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
