he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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