A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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