why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
