hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
