so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They have beer where we have blood.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
