i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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