Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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