just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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