can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Randomize
