dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The air was thick with penises
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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