Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
it's like iHOP with fire
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
