this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
