just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
