sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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