proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
