i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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