Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
