I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
