Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
