I need help removing her.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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