we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
