Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
