Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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