the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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