Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
