no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
