Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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