Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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