I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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