It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize