Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
