Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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