PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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