ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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