When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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