I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
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He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
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In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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