You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
