I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize