Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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