well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
